No HATE in this ❤

Bizzle said it best, “Homie you can hate me but you get no hate back. Cuz all the hatin in the world won’t make me a hater.”

I know I have haters. I’m the sweetest, meanest person you’ll meet(😜). Why hate me? But it’s inevitable. Everyone won’t have a love like Christ’s. They can keep hating me all the way to fiery hell. I won’t be there. Imma love my way into heaven’s gates. It won’t be easy but I’m pressing. I won’t allow how one feels about me make me just like them. Understand, get out my way tho with the foolishness. The bible says to shun the very presence of evil. I’ll do just that & pray the haters are delivered from their illnesses. The best carnal medicine I can give them is to keep being great. 

At the moment I have absolutely no energy to hate anyone. I need to be this way always. I’m priortizing what really matters. My sanity is #1. The more angry I get about uncontrollable ppl & things, the more tired I am. So I then give it to God when I should’ve from the gate. This world may cause us to become cold. We can’t let it happen. We can’t control ppl but we can control ourselves with the Holy Spirit on board. The devil tries his hardest to throw us off. He knows what gets to us & we fall for it every time. We give hate so much energy instead of forgiveness & love. Agape love. Til we die we’ll be working on something(s) unChrist-like within us. Become aware of it & get to work. Someone needs to see light in this dark place. Choose to be light. If we choose God we’ll be happier. I fight me more than I fight ppl. I’m so tired. And I can’t beat God. See, I’ve been taught the way. I can’t get away from it no matter how hard I try. I am a good person at heart but have been damaged. I know God can heal me…if I let him. I’ve decided to get out the way & heal. Someone is watching me saying if I can do it, even with a smile, they can. Misery loves company. I don’t want ppl miserable & neither do I. I may not want to be an example but I am. God called me to be so. 

We want ppl to listen to us but we don’t listen to God. What if daily he dished out the judgement we give to others? We’ll be begging for mercy. Now…even when ppl don’t apologize, we’re to forgive and let God deal with ’em. I’m taking need to this now. We forgive for our own sanity & righteousness. When you realize you have more things going on that take precedence over how someone feels about you, you can move pass things quicker. I refuse to spew hate back at others because they hate me. I know better, I’m doing better & I can have better because God said so. I refuse to be a miserable human being when God said he’d give me the desires of my heart. I’m worthy of a good life & you are too. We make mistakes. Repent & turn from doing it habitually. Strive to change for the better. We can’t let ppl pull us down to their level. We should actually feel sorry for them & pray for their souls. 

Everyone copes differently. What you’re delivered from, someone still struggles with that thing. Have compassion. I know I’m great & the enemy knows it too. He wants me to think otherwise to bring me closer to him. Won’t happen. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not great arrogantly. Great because God didn’t make a mistake when he created me in his image. He broke the mold! Great because his Holy Spirit is within, empowering me to not give up, to fight!  And I pray that everyone feels the same way about themselves. I want to see everyone win! If everybody felt that way…wouldn’t be haters running amuck.


Boundaries/Letting Go

I have a serious problem with people not respecting boundaries. I’m praying that God helps me. I’m trying my best not to act upon my anger towards this chic. I told her to STAY AWAY from my minor children. I made it clear. She had posted a picture of my child (calling him sexy boy) on her social media page with her child at an event.  She’s suppose to be a minister of the gospel, married & calling a minor sexy. It’s not a good look, ijs. It may not seem like a big deal to others but it is to me. I found it offensive as his mother. When it comes to your children, the protecter comes out. She’s a person with issues. My child is a troubled teen (ran away) & I don’t see her helping him when she’s jacked up herself. I see her using him for information, manipulating him against us. She’s obviously not my friend anymore & probably never was (a leech). There’s history here. No matter how I’ve tried to mend things, she holds on. So I threw in the towel on trying…with her. We have to know when to just let ppl go. I’m still learning. She’s shown me that she still needs deliverance, from the dialogue we shared recently. I find it quite disrespectful that I tell her to stay away from my minor kids & she basicly rubs that in my face by posting a pic of my child. Very tender spot. I don’t know how he ended up there with her but as a fellow Christian I would think that she would have some sense to contact me so that there would be understanding & peace amongst us. Nope…she didn’t. Anger! Anger! Anger! But I’m tired of the anger. She has to have a problem with me. She has had issues with certain members of my family in the past and now…me. I kick myself for listening to her talk about my family because that family member (s) had hurt me as well. Trying to be a “friend” (gotta be careful with letting ppl dump on us). However I did try to encourage her to pray, forgive & move on as I was. That was a difficult task. She drained me. I helped her financially, took from my own home & children, etc…seems in vain. So for her to all of a sudden have issues with me, I’m blindsided. But the devil does that. Maybe someone is in her ear…again. She always acted like ppl were out to get her, talking about her, yada, yada, yada, now I guess I’m a part of those so called people. I see I’m not fighting with a person. But with spirits. Jealousy, gossip, bitterness, anger, unforgiveness & Lord knows what else. And those spirits want to jump on me. I must be careful & fight the right way. My fists won’t do it. I gotta pray & possibly fast for her. Yes, I want her out of my family. She’s tied in through her kids being God children to my family member, whom she despised (twisted business). Well, I can’t cut that part out but I can pray that her heart changes, she’s filled with the holy spirit, that she forgives & too…she leaves my immediate family alone. I received a call from another family member, asking me if they can do something for my child, that’s called respect. They know it’s touchy. I as a mature adult, just couldn’t bypass speaking with the parents before involving myself with anyone’s child especially when they’re troubled. This chic here, I would think she’ll get it since she’s a mom now, smh. She claimed she did. Another lieThe devil doesn’t care. He knows what angers us. She’s suppose to be a woman of God but I see she needs serious prayer. But why from me Lord? I do not want to but I believe if I don’t, God will continue to put her on my mind & in my spirit (unless she done put roots on me). I want to ignore her. I’ve had dreams about her. I think those were warnings. Now let me go back…this is the 2nd child she’s engaged. Physically & through messages on social media. After the 1st time was when  I told her to leave them alone. Thought she got the drift. Something may be wrong upstairs. I can’t beat it in her. I gotta give this to God. It’s extremely hard. This could be a set up to lose my life, everything I’ve built. I gotta let the spirit guide me, not flesh. It’s like torture. Oh my God! I said, “Okay God! I give up! I’ll pray for my enemy. Help me.” Who wants to pray for an enemy really? I don’t hate her but she’s making it hard not to, I tell you that. I can’t help but think she hates me. She won’t admit it if she does, of course. That’s why I call her an enemy. I’m praying for compassion in my heart for her so that I can pray right. I don’t want anything back firing on me. This truly is a growing pain. I’m going higher in God. This is to stunt me. We talk the talk but dont want to walk. I’m real. I cannot preach to others & won’t come subject to the same instructions. Ugh! Imma pray for the evil in this woman that she might be blind to (she could be comfortable with it too), to loose her and for my family to not be a target. Keeping my mind on the good in my life & not the bad. If I dont focus, the devil wins. Can’t let that happen!